While divorce is a private matter, keeping it a secret might not only be impossible, but it also might not be a good idea. Here is why.
Divorce is about two people, but it will affect others. Letting them know helps them to help you. Here are some people to consider telling:
Your child’s teachers
If you have children, they will be the most affected of all. Understanding how they are coping can be difficult, so consider informing their teacher. They can keep an eye out for changes in your child and communicate them to you. They can also let other teachers know to cut your child some slack if they start handing their homework in late or start getting into trouble. They might also be someone your child can discuss their feelings about your divorce with.
Your employer and colleagues
You will almost certainly need time off work to deal with divorce. That might be just a few hours to see your attorney and attend a hearing. Or it might be a few days if divorce has hit you hard and you struggle to face the world. While you could make up a reason to ask your boss for time off, honesty is probably best. If you also inform a few close colleagues, they may cover some of your work or offer support in other ways. If you keep it secret, they may assume the problem is your attitude or commitment.
Friends and family
Letting close friends and family know allows them to give you the support you will almost certainly need. It might be emotional support or practical support such as picking up the kids from school because you need to attend a divorce hearing.
Even the most amicable divorces have their challenges. Getting help to understand more about the divorce process will be crucial to help you prepare yourself and others for the effects of your divorce.