Maybe you set your heart on getting sole custody of your children when you divorce. You would not be the first or the last parent to want that. Yet, if you investigate further, you may discover it is not the ideal scenario you think.
First, it is not good for your children. Most kids like both their parents and do not want one to drop out of their life. However brilliant a parent you are, however hard you try, you can never fully replace the other parent. Not in everything.
For example, your spouse might be a lousy cook, they might spend 12 hours a day working, and they might be prone to bouts of grumpiness, but they will almost certainly give your child something of benefit. It may be a sense of fun, a helping hand with complicated science homework, or simply the reassurance that if something happens to you, your child still has a parent that loves them.
Sole custody is hard work for you
When was the last time you got five minutes to yourself? What about the last time you got a whole day or a weekend to yourself? You are more than a parent, and full-time parenting can cut into the time available to be you. To be a newly single adult open to love, a promising employee set to climb the ladder or a friend for others to hang out with and rely on in their times of need. All those things become harder when you always have the kids.
Courts will almost always look for an outcome that keeps both parents involved in their children’s lives. So, unless there are genuine safety reasons to keep your spouse away from your child, focus on finding a custody solution that benefits all of you.