As much as you may dread the thought, you must discuss and negotiate child-related matters when divorcing as a parent. If you cannot do so successfully, a Florida family court judge will decide these crucial matters instead.
Creating your own time-sharing plan is beneficial, but it is often hard to communicate when divorcing, especially if your co-parent has narcissistic tendencies. Becoming a rock during combative negotiations may defuse the situation.
Divorce can make latent narcissistic tendencies much more pronounced. If every conversation about your children devolves into an hours-long battle, perhaps you should become a gray rock.
It is a technique to make yourself less interesting to the other party. Theoretically, they will lose interest in trying to provoke a fight and be more cooperative.
Examples of gray rocking:
- Keeping all emotion out of the discussion
- Responding with short answers (yes, no, maybe, etc.)
- Walking away from discussions unrelated to divorce or your kids
Although it sounds too easy to be effective, gray rocking may remove some of the conflicts that haunt your divorce.
Perhaps becoming a yellow rock will improve your parenting plan and time-sharing negotiations. Yellow rocking involves adding a few niceties to your gray rock technique. However, you must still avoid rising to any argument bait your co-parent may dangle before you.
Examples of yellow rocking:
- Discussing issues as you would with a colleague (friendly but firm)
- Keeping conversations focused on child or divorce matters only
- Ignoring insults or other attempts to engage you in a fight
If your efforts to improve negotiations over time-sharing and parenting plans fail, a legal representative with experience can help. These professionals have seen and heard enough to know what works and what does not when deciding divorce issues with an uncooperative co-parent.