Medicine is not an exact science, and new information (and treatments) constantly emerge. That can leave parents feeling very conflicted about their options for their children’s medical treatments. Some of the topics that spark the most heated disagreements these days include vaccines, psychiatric medications, ADHD meds and other mental health or developmental interventions.
What happens, however, when unmarried or divorced co-parents end up on opposite sides of a medical issue? Even the most loving parents can end up clashing over what they believe is in their child’s best interests. When the disputes center around such a critical issue as a child’s health, those conflicts can become very emotional and heated.
Legal custody is the key to a parent’s control
There are two types of custody parents may have: physical and legal. Physical custody refers to the child’s living situation, or which parent has the child in their care at any given time. Legal custody is a parent’s right to make major decisions about the child’s life, including their education, religious instruction and – naturally – their medical care.
In general, regardless of the way that physical custody is divided, both parents are likely to share legal custody of a child equally. If that’s your situation, you cannot make any major decisions about your child’s health care without your co-parent’s consent.
When compromises aren’t possible on an issue (such as whether to vaccinate a child or not), who ultimately makes the call? There may be little option except to take the issue to court and let a judge decide. While that’s never ideal, it allows both parents to present their views on the medical science and the relative values and risks of any given procedure or treatment. In some cases, the court may only need to make a single decision for or against something. In cases where the issue is pervasive and ongoing, however, a parent may need to ask the court to award them full legal custody and the power to make all major decisions about a child’s health care alone.
Disagreements about a child’s medical care can be painful because they touch on a parent’s primal fears. Parents who are in dispute over an issue are both trying to protect their child, not just “win” an argument. If you find yourself in that situation, legal guidance is essential.