Deciding you want a divorce can be challenging and probably one of the biggest decisions you will ever make. Communicating the news to your spouse will likely also come with challenges.
The following can help you handle this potentially fraught interaction.
1. Be sure this is what you want
Do you think you want a divorce or do you know you want a divorce? It’s usually best not to rush into these things, but you also do not want to stay sitting on the fence and unhappy (let alone unsafe) forever.
If you are finding it tough to decide, seek out the opinions of a few trusted others. They may see truths that you do not see that could help you decide, or consider visiting a therapist who can help you clarify your thoughts in your mind.
2. Choose your moment
There is unlikely to be a “good’ time for such a difficult conversation, but some times are better than others. A bit of sensitivity and common sense is called for, even if emotions are running high. For example, don’t ruin your child’s birthday by informing your spouse it’s over the night before. And don’t hinder your spouse’s chance of success by telling them a few hours before they have an important meeting, match or exam.
3. Know your next few steps
Think about how your spouse might react. If they are likely to throw dishes across the kitchen, then maybe break the news over the phone. If you have fears for your safety, you might need to relocate first, and even seek a court protection order. Even if none of that is a concern, it might make sense to find yourself somewhere to stay for at least a night or two, to give you both space to process it all. Having money set aside for this is wise.
Learning more about the divorce process before you break the news to your spouse can help you prepare for the conversation and the upcoming changes in your life.