For parents who are going through a divorce, or have already split up, it can be difficult to know how to talk about the other parent. For instance, maybe your spouse recently filed for divorce. You know that you need to tell the children, but how do you talk about your ex moving forward?
As with many parts of divorce, one of the biggest things to keep in mind is that you want to put your children first. You should remember this with every conversation that you have that may involve your ex – who is also your child’s parent that they’re going to continue having a relationship with. Here are some tips that can help.
Never be insulting
You might be frustrated with your ex. But you don’t want to insult them in front of the kids. If the two of you have a conflict, you should work it out together and on your own, not in front of the children.
You don’t have to give them all the details
Parents need to decide how many details about the split their children need to know. In some cases, they may want to tell them everything. In other cases, especially with younger children, they will hold back some of the more adult details – such as legal issues or issues regarding finances.
Don’t use them as messengers
Your children may live with you part of the time and with your ex for another part of the time. But this doesn’t mean that they should have to act as messengers between those households. You and your ex need to have an established line of communication so that the kids are not involved.
Of course, talking about your ex is just one of the complications that comes along with co-parenting. Be sure you know about all of your legal options.